First up: matters of hair. The one true thing I have learned in this life:
Everyone always wants everyone else's hair.
Am I right, ladies? The straighties want the curlies' hair, and vice versa, and everyone wants those perfectly-manageable waves you can play up or down, or even disappear at will. My own hair began life so curly that, I am told and can see by my baby photos, it was impossible to tell which end was attached to my scalp and which wasn't.
As time wore on, it became more and more possessed of a singular will to either obligingly respond to my wishes, or to flip me the middle finger (especially when I was trying to make a flip). Who knew what sort of hair day it would be--why, it was anyone's guess! Step right up and test your luck!
Also: cowlick devilry abounds. Just ask anyone who has ever had their hands on my hair. It's a challenge.
Eventually, as hair products became more sophisticated (naturally curly/frizzy hair like mine loves it some 'cones), it was easier to maintain an actual hair style. Even when I stopped fighting my curls so much, at least the frizzies were more easily-tamed. Thanks, science!
Although, there was the first time I visited Seattle. I had read that it would be a frizz-fest free-for-all, and boy, was that ever right. I had confidently packed a few different weapons in my arsenal, and all proved utterly ineffective. I got off the plane, stepped outside, and whoompf! phoompf! Insty blowout. Ponytail city that visit, and every visit thereafter. Even when I booked a cut-and-color appointment with a great salon downtown, because surely they knew how to combat the monster if anyone did, their recommendations were already in my suitcase. They did their best with my Cthulhu-do and were highly sympathetic, but I was a lost cause.
Fast forward to today--my hair has become coarser and drier as I age, which of course aggravates the frizz, but I have found a few pretty nifty hair-helpers as of late. I won't bore you with the millions I've tried and had only average success with, and for brevity's sake (haha, too late) I'm keeping this list to multipurpose products. These items have more than one purpose, either deliberately, or by happenstance.
![]() |
| Current incarnation. |
![]() |
| Side view. |
You'll probably notice a distinct lack of drugstore products. That is because I have honestly tried the majority of them with little success. Believe me, I regularly use drugstore products for a lot of other steps in my beeyutificayshun process, and I love a deal as much as anyone else. For the most part, people are right when they say there's little difference between drugstore and salon products. But in my case, the ones on my list just work far better for me.
The other upside to these products is that they take very little (relatively speaking) to do the job, and last a long time. What I generally do to test something out is to get the sample packs or smallest sizes, and I will also look to see where I might find the full-sizes on sale or clearance. Sometimes you can find a coupon here or there, but that's pretty spotty. I'm also all about trying to find that miracle all-in-one product for frizz control and styling, because anything we curlyheads can do to cut down on time and money really helps. I have found a few candidates for my list.
Something else to think about: I'm not vegan, so if you are, it's possible these products may not work for you. Additionally, I'm not entirely certain whether animal-testing is happening with these products, or whether their manufacturers or parent companies engage in such action. I'll make a note after each product I list to reflect what I know about their testing status.
Cruelty-free in household/personal products is important to me, and I try to make my consumer choices with that in mind. In a perfect situation, I'd use nothing but humane products for my hair, and they would work like a charm. I'm always keeping my eye out for humane products to try, and I'd be very interested if you have some suggestions, please.
Shampoo and conditioner:
Redken All Soft (including the Heavy Cream), and sometimes Redken Color Extend when my color is fresh and I am trying to keep it up. I haven't tried the Rich Recovery treatment, nor have I tried their other lines for curly hair or smoothing hair. However, because they are owned by L'Oreal, which is owned by Estee Lauder, which engages in animal-testing, I'm not interested in trying anything else by them. In fact, I am casting about for different shampoos, conditioners, and treatment masks that work as well, and are cruelty-free. Unfortunately, these work like magic, but I would very much like to get away from them. Aveda is no longer cruelty-free, and there are conflicting reports as to whether The Body Shop still is. Sometimes the Philosophy 3-in-1s, which I use and love for shower gels, work okay, but they're rather drying for my hair. Too bad, because I admire their stance on animal-testing.
![]() |
| Scrunch-n-go! |
![]() | |||
| High maintenance but fun. |
All-in-ones (at least, for me):
Pureology Super Smooth Relaxing Serum
Unfortunately, also owned by L'Oreal, which makes it even more unfortunate that it's the single best product I have ever used for frizz control and varieties of styling. Lightweight, takes almost no product. Dammit.
Bumble & bumble Curl Conscious Calming Creme for Coarse Curls
Appears to be cruelty-free, according to their website product FAQ. A longtime favorite. Fantastic frizz control and styling product, particularly when you're trying to play up your curls. Two formulations these days: one for coarse hair, one for fine.
Frederick Fekkai Brilliant Glossing Creme
Appears to be cruelty-free, according to their Sephora product FAQ. Great for when you're just looking to style and maintain waves. Does gloss hair, but that's not the most important thing. Awesome frizz control.
Finally, here's some tips I've either read or figured out on my own about how to manage hair like mine:
--In general, combs are better than brushes. Whether you have fine or thick hair, combs for hair like ours are almost always better than brushes. You'll want a flat-head brush with sturdy bristles that are tipped with plastic, with space between the bristles. For combs, sturdy wide-toothed plastic with rounded/protected teeth are the way to go.
--Pay attention to formulations of shampoos and conditioners/leave-in creams. You'll want to use non-alcohol products because alcohol is drying, and contributes to frizz. A friend and reader reminds us to stay away from parabens, too, for health reasons. As well, try to avoid sodium lauryl sulfate (SLS) and sodium laureth sulfate (SLES). Here's some good reasons why.
--Avoid blow-drying like the plague, if you can help it at all. If you have to blow-dry, use a diffuser and hold the dryer as far away from your hair as you can and have it still work. Don't blast it on high heat--alternate the high with the medium and low. I usually hit my damp hair with high heat to get the drying started, then switch off between settings frequently. Try not to use combs or brushes during drying unless you're trying to straighten your hair. Sometimes you might find an additional application of hair product during drying will help. Depending on what I'm using and why, I may wind up doing some application before, during, and after drying. And, don't dry your hair all the way--frizzies loooooove it when you do that.. Let nature do a little of the work. But again, let your hair dry naturally as often as possible.
--If you're trying to enhance your curls, you can use your hands and fingers to do a lot of the work for you, before, during, and after your hair dries (either naturally or with blow-drying). After you press your hair dry with a fluffy towel (don't rub or wring, just press), but before you untangle your damp hair with a comb, run your fingers through your hair several times from root to tip. This really helps with initial untangling (which, as we curly girls know all too well, needs doing a few times during the whole process of styling). Then, after you apply an initial amount of product, try twirling your curls and scrunching them gently, starting at the root, and working toward the ends. You'll be surprised how much this helps control frizz and defines curls.
--If you're trying to straighten your curls, don't be afraid of flat irons. They do, however, range dramatically in price, and this is one of those things where you can do well without spending a ton. Some helpful info about some of your choices and price ranges, here. Be patient, and if it just isn't happening, it's okay. Sometimes it's much better to embrace the waves than work against them.
That about wraps it up! And, hey--if you're a fellow curly/frizzy hair owner, I'd love for you to comment below with your own tips and favorite products! We curly sisters have to stick together!




"People with straight hair want curly hair. People with curly hair want straight hair. And bald people want everyone to be blind" - Rita Rudner
ReplyDeleteIsn't that exactly right! Rita would know.
ReplyDeleteSo you prefer 'cone styling products, but avoid SLS and SLES; do you feel like you develop build-up? Last fall or so I decided to do more reading on the curly girl method (also the website naturally curly) and while there is some conflicting info - the consensus seems to be the SLS is bad, but so are 'cones (and using 'cones without SLS leads to build up). So much of the information is, well, hear-say.
ReplyDeleteYou remember my hair? Well it has decided that it is not straight (I joke I have the frizziest straight hair around) hence my above reading and experimenting. I went no-poo for a while (using BS for a wash and ACV for a rinse and then conditioner). Surprisingly my scalp actually chilled out (I thought it was too oily for no-poo). However my hair didn't really show anymore curl than before (I'm maybe a 2A). The front is straight and fine, the back is thick and coarse and slightly wavy or maybe just cowlicky. The back looks good with a scrunch, no brushing (a comb through while wet) and air-drying- the front looks stringy with that treatment, so it needs to be brushed - overall my hair straightens out as it dries. But air-drying also takes 3+ hours. Fun stuff. It definitely looks nicer if I use a silicone product, smooths everything out - but I'm worried about build-up. I'm using my usual variety of hippie shampoo/conditioner so I wasn't in SLS land in the first place.
Yesterday I tried a few drops of jojoba oil to smooth the frizzies after blow-drying (and brushing, not really hardcore straightening). It might be my new thing. I've also heard of curly girls using a tiny (like pea size or smaller) bit of coconut oil for smoothing. But for some people it becomes grease-city.
Oh, wow! Yes, I absolutely remember your hair. Sounds like the sort of changes that come with either different climates or getting older or something. Mine is so much drier than it used to be. In my case, you could add color processing to the reasons why it's changed.
ReplyDeleteI haven't experienced build-up, probably because I haven't gotten 100% away from SLS and SLES myself. This angers me. :) It's just so hard to find things that work on my crazy hair. For example, I too used to use several brands of the hippie shampoo/conditioners, but as my hair has changed, they've become far less effective for me. They really seem to dry out my hair more. Gahhhh!
I haven't tried the no-poos. Very interesting!
You know, I sort of forgot about straight jojoba oil. Maybe I'll check back into that. I did the coconut oil some years ago and it was grease-city, but maybe I'll try that again because now my hair is so dry. One thing I've found is that moroccan oil, forgot to talk about that. It's great, but needs reapplication frequently for my dry-ass hair, so then gets weighed down in this weird, unnatural way. Mmphgh.
If there were some really super-effective alternative to 'cones that were healthier, I would try them for sure--is there something out there I should seek out, guys? And if you have anotheryarn's sort of hair, let us know what works for you!